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If you were about to send one of the following messages, you are a retard:

• i want to download some of the faces
• where do the smileys work? i have tried them on msn and on a message board

I'll update this section as we get more retarded mails :)

Date: 10 November 1982 1126-EST (Wednesday)
From: James.Morris@CMU-10A
To: csl@PARC-MAXC, isl@PARC-MAXC
Subject: Communications Breakthrough

Because you can't see the person who is sending you electronic mail you are sometimes uncertain whether they are serious or joking. Recently, Scott Fahlman at CMU devised a scheme for annotating one's messages to overcome this problem. If you turn your head sideways to look at the three characters :-) they look sort of like a smiling face. Thus, if someone sends you a message that says "Have you stopped beating your wife?:-)" you know they are joking. If they say "I need to talk to you :-(", be prepared for trouble.

Since Scott's original proposal, many further symbols have been proposed here:

(:-) for messages dealing with bicycle helmets
@= for messages dealing with nuclear war
<:-) for dumb questions
oo for somebody's head-lights are on messages
o>-<|= for messages of interest to women
~= a candle, to annotate flaming messages

So you see, bit-map displays are really quite unnecessary :->